


Tommy

by ThyArchitect



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect - Various Authors, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Ashley Williams - Freeform, Dialogue Heavy, Drama, F/M, Mass Effect 3, Mass Effect Trilogy - Freeform, Romance, male shepard - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 11:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16764223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThyArchitect/pseuds/ThyArchitect
Summary: The initial idea was born out of the scene from the ME3 game with the standoff between Ashley and Shepard when Shepard tries to confront Udina about certain Cerberus connections. This is of course how it started off, but it delved into much deeper topics. Throughout the game I felt that emotions were sorely lacking at some points so, it may seem like one character is particularly sappy here, (out of character? you decide) while staying in character with each characters speech patterns, vocabulary and so on. but the idea behind this was to try to create some sort of gravity of the situation and how it can drive human emotions to the edge and then over. I felt the game's dialogues lacked feeling in some cases so in this dialogue I tried to use romance as a springboard to bring out emotions like despair, guilt, resentment and judgments of self-worth and to show how these could have been affect by the Reaper war. I also wanted to recall several moments from the past games that would be familiar to all instead of making up something that never really happened so as to have a sense of authenticity. Also the stage directions are to help paint the scene in the reader's mind.





	Tommy

[Ashley sits in the Captain’s cabin reminiscing on certain recent events. She remembers the council standoff scene.]  
(*flashback)

Shepard: Would I do this if I wasn’t dead certain Ash? If I weren’t right?

Ash: I’m gonna regret this

Shepard: No, you’re not.

[Ashley then recounts her moment with Shepard on the citadel after this.]  
(*flashback)

Shepard: I want more Ash. I can’t see myself with anyone else.

[She is sitting at Shepard’s desk, and sets his console to play music from the extranet. She spins to the left in the chair and holds her forehead with her right hand and looks at the floor]

Ash: I’m such a fool. Shepard doesn’t deserve me. I don’t deserve him.

[Shepard walks into his cabin and is a bit surprised to see Ashley sitting in his chair]

Shepard: Ash, what are you doing in here?

Ash: Skip, I just wanted to talk, if you’ve got the time.

Shepard: Sure Ash. What’s on your mind?

Ash: Well...you know…we never really got into what happened in the standoff with Udina…you know…where I shoved a gun in your face.

Shepard: Ash…we don’t have to…

Ash: Skip it’s just been bothering me. You were right. And the way that I doubted you. Hell, I was about to shoot you in order to defend that scumbag Udina. I just…I don’t know.

[Shepard walks over to her and holds her hands to make her stand. He hugs her and squeezes her a bit.]

Shepard: [inhales into her hair] I remember your hair always smelled like this. That smooth exotic scent.

[Ashley breaks the hug a bit so she can look into Shepard’s face, but Shepard still holds onto her shoulders]

Ash: Don’t do this now skipper. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I was so close to turning on you that that in itself seems like betrayal. The way I always questioned you ever since we left earth about Cerberus and whether you had severed your ties with them. The crap I told you when we met on Horizon.

Shepard: Ash, what are you beating yourself up for? That’s all in the past. 

Ash: But still! I can’t believe what I almost did. The way I couldn’t see past my own feelings for Cerberus and how I let that affect me…us…when I pointed my gun at you my hands couldn’t stop shaking. I was ready to pull the trigger Shepard, had I taken the shot I might’ve hit Garrus instead.

Shepard: It was a tough situation Ash. But it turned out in the best way possible. I knew you’d always see me for who I really am so I never put my hand on the trigger and eventually lowered my gun when we came face to face.

Ash: WHY?! Shepard?! Why do you have so much faith in me? [Tears in her eyes, voice cracking] After everything I’ve put you through. After all the insults, the mistrust, the bad blood, how is it that you…

Shepard: Udina manipulated all of us! He tricked even the asari and the turian councilors as well! Ash, he took advantage of you at the hospital. Who could’ve said to you at that time that we couldn’t trust him? Not even me. He knew how you’d consider the Spectre position heavily because of your military background and decided to use that for his own gain. For everything we know, he was probably indoctrinated by the illusive man. The illusive man is to blame here Ash. Not you.

Ash: But Shepard you’re missing the point! Even after all of that, you still come to me on the citadel and tell me that you don’t want to be with anyone else. Every time I run to you with my problems and every time you come to the answer for me. And I still go and pull a stunt like that. How do you still say you love me? [Crying]

Shepard: Ashley. [Wipes her tears] I don’t understand where this is all coming from. Do you think I care if you couldn’t trust me before? If you pointed a gun at me? Well, the fact of the matter is that I don’t. Those things aren’t much to stop me from remembering the reasons why I love the woman in front of me. When I saw the Cerberus robot attack you on mars, it was like time stopped. [Shepard looks down and speaks slower] And I could’ve seen her attacks in slow motion; the movement of her hands, when she held your helmet and slammed you down and I felt powerless. I didn’t know what to do. All those days you spent in the hospital, all I thought about was you. One time I even called EDI Ashley by accident. 

Ash: Skipper, you’re not really helping.

Shepard: [smiles] The point is Ash, I know who you are and you know who I am. I wouldn’t judge you from every action that you take. And I certainly didn’t ask for you to be the perfect woman. The reason I love you is because of the person you are. Your charm, your tact, your courage to make your voice heard your reasoning and your sense of justice. Not to mention your starry eyes, your bubble-gum lips and your graceful beauty. [Shepard moves his hands from resting on her hips upward to her shoulders and brings his face closer to hers and looks into her eyes.] When I met you on Eden Prime I saw a soldier fighting not for her life, but for what was right. You can’t blame yourself for doing what you did or thinking what you thought about me. I don’t blame you. So you have to let it go. [Kisses her on her cheek then whispers in her ear] When I look at you, I see an imperfect woman, as perfect as can be.

[The song on the console changes]

Shepard: You, LC, need to calm down. [Proceeds to kiss her neck. Ashley raises her head to allow him, tears still in her eyes.]

Ash: Skipper, do you think I have an insecurity issue? Or a trust problem?

Shepard: [mumbles] Shut up Ash.

Ash: No seriously. [Pulls away a little, again]

Shepard: No, Ash. You don’t. And I didn’t mean to imply that before either. 

Ash: Then why did I have to be such an idiot? What do you think the problem is?

Shepard: [kisses her cheek, then proceeds to her neck again; mumbles] I think you have a speech problem LC.

Ash: Very funny.

Shepard: [stops kissing her and looks into her eyes again] Ashley, I entertained the idea of Cerberus having some kind of control chip in me as well. But they don’t. The person who headed the project to bring me back to life wanted to do it, but the illusive man didn’t let her do it. I did that entire suicide mission the way I wanted it, with many disagreements between the illusive man and myself. And in the end, I blew the collector ship up, when he wanted to salvage it. I co-operated with him only to use his resources to do the job I wanted to do, but I wasn’t his slave. On the other hand, I couldn’t expect you to know all this. Of course it was a bit tough when I couldn’t get you to believe me on Horizon – 

Ash: I knew it [moves away from Shepard to stand at the bathroom door and face him].

Shepard: But! It’s not like I could’ve expected you to just believe it. And I didn’t. Like I said before, I know the kind of person you are Ash. We were apart for two years. I died. That would tend to change things and I understood as much. I knew how it must’ve looked; coming back from the dead and working with Cerberus then. Not contacting the Alliance…or you. I’d have been surprised if you didn’t find it strange. After Horizon when I got back on the Normandy, I just wanted to abandon my suicide mission and find you and get the chance to explain things better; to talk to you more. It killed me to have just left things between us like that. I kept wishing that I could reverse time and do that conversation over. But I couldn’t... As best as I could have, I kept faith in you to eventually see through that murky Cerberus veil and find me. Find the man that fell in love with you on the SR-1. And when I got your email, you proved that my faith was well placed. I was still a bit dismal from Horizon but nothing gave me any greater joy than reading your words on this same console. I always believe in you to do the right thing Ash. If you feel that you made mistakes, then fine, let it be mistakes that you can forgive yourself for, and that you can forget. I want us to be happy together. You have to let that happen. You can’t hold yourself back from what you deserve.

Ash: That’s just it! I don’t deserve you Shepard. I don’t deserve any of this. I don’t deserve to be on the Normandy. I don’t deserve to be in the military. [Voice cracks. Ashley leans her back against the bathroom door and slides down to the floor] I don’t even deserve to be alive! 

[Cries]

Shepard: [Moves towards her and sits on the floor to embrace her. Shepard speaks softly.] Ash…why are you doing this to yourself? Honey you can’t say these things. You’re making yourself out to be something like a criminal. You’re not! 

Ash: [Stops crying] I watched my whole squad die on Eden Prime while I survived. I feel like a criminal for running away as the others just fell prey. I should’ve died with them!

Shepard: You fought through hell to survive Ash. It’s why you’re here today.

Ash: No, skipper. I only survived because you came. And it was the same thing again on Virmire. Because of me we had to leave Kaidan behind. He died because of me!

Shepard: Ash, you’re taking away everything that makes you who you are. I watched my whole squad on Akuze die too. But I survived, because I fought for my life. That’s the person I am. And that’s the person you are too. You were not to blame for what happened on Virmire. Kaidan understood that the situation got more complicated as the enemy flanked us from all sides. Yet still he decided to get the job done. He understood that in order for what he believed in to exist, he had to make the difficult choice. He understood that I had to make the difficult choice… [Sighs] But that’s exactly what you do. On Eden Prime you earned your right to live from an enemy that’s now threatening an entire galaxy! If you don’t deserve credit for that, then I’m a mad man on a suicide mission…wait a minute that was a poor example.

Ash: [Very slight smile]

Shepard: The point is, with all that you’ve faced, all that you’ve fought for, you’ve earned what you have today. You are good enough. You said it yourself. You’ve had to bury a lot of things and you’ve had to fight for everything throughout your life; making a stand to honor your grandfather; making sure that the name Williams can stand for something right. You’ve driven yourself so hard, it actually breaks my heart to see you doubt everything that you’ve accomplished. You are good enough Ashley, and you don’t need me to tell you that. The things you’ve been through, not many could withstand. You are worth it. You’re the love of my life who deserves no less.

Ash: I’m sorry Shepard. I just…I’m sorry for being so sappy.

Shepard: Don’t worry Ash, I’m here for you. This time, I’m right here [Hugs her again]….Speaking of sappy. There’s something I have to show you. 

Ash: What’s that?

Shepard: [Gets off the floor and walks over to console and sits] I had forgotten about this. I found it while you were in the hospital. 

Ash: Oh I see. Been reading huh? [Looks down at the floor between her knees]

Shepard: Yea. It’s not your usual read, like Tennyson but the extranet said that this guy was good too back in his day. [Reads from console]

In the midst of darkness,  
When they bade me to step a foot into the black waters,  
When they tasked me with seeking out the unknown,  
The unknown did I find.  
A jewel across a field of misfortune,  
A diamond in a blood-strewn rough.  
I took the hand of this darling,  
Comforted her in my embrace,  
And she began to weave her life,  
Into the sinews of my soul.  
Into the context of everything that gave me purpose,  
Into the life that made my eyelids open.  
I could’ve felt her energy merge into my aura,  
Her spirit lifting me like wings,  
Her smile thawing my heart,  
If the day may ever reach,  
Where we must part,  
I leave with her essence,  
Burnt into my heart,  
So that a cold, battered soul,  
Such as I,  
May yet stumble upon this jewel,  
Across a field of misfortune,  
Again for her to consummate me,  
Again for her to revive me,  
For I live in the days with her at my side,  
With her joy allowing the sun to set,  
To rise, and to set again.  
But I merely exist to gaze at stars,  
Should she ever leave my side.  
Should she ever leave me in the dark.  
And I would kneel at the mountain side,  
And in fury cry at the Gods,  
To beg them once more,  
To lead me to her,  
I would pray with nothing to lose,  
Howl unto the enigmatic heavens,  
As a shell of a man,  
Whose only wish is to once more become whole,  
Whose only desire is to reunite with his diamond.

Shepard: [Turns in the chair to look at Ashley, who is looking at Shepard through teary eyes.] I’ve found my diamond once again.

Ash:…

Shepard: [Gets up from chair and walks over to Ashley] Ashley, You are everything to me. Whenever I think about this war and saving the entire galaxy, I don’t only think about saving a world for everyone to live in. My mind can’t help but come across thoughts of you; thoughts of us. Every night I go to sleep hoping that there’ll be a tomorrow. But I want a tomorrow for us too. [Stoops down and holds her hands] I want a life together. As much as I might want to be honorable and focused about what we’re doing here out in space and say that we’re fighting to save the lives of everyone, while millions of lives are lost on Earth, I’m fighting for something that is important to me personally, just like everyone else and every other species. We’re fighting for life after the reapers are gone. But my life would be empty without you. This is why I fight; for a life with you. [Shepard helps Ashley to her feet]

Ashley: [Gets to her feet then moves her palms up Shepard’s arms as though it was the first time she felt them.] Shepard…I don’t know what to say.

Shepard: There’s just one word you need to say to me. While you’re thinking... [Passionately kisses Ashley and embraces her tightly]

Ashley: Hold me a little longer won’t you skipper? [Puts her head to his chest and listens to his heart beating slowly] I just feel like I’m in pieces. Shattered. And you’re making me whole again. [Ashley feels Shepard’s body heat radiating from him] Don’t ever leave me skipper. [Tightens her grip around him] Even though I may seem like the tough tomboy kicking ass and taking names, I need you in my life. Please. Don’t ever-

Shepard: [Puts his right index finger to her lips to stop her from talking. Leads her across the room by her hand to the bed. Shepard puts Ashley on the bed and follows with his body leaning in over hers, supported by his hands. Shepard stares into Ashley’s eyes. Ashley looks at him a little uncertain, not fully on her back, but supported by her elbows.] This time, I’m not going anywhere. [Proceeds to kiss her on the lips, then down to her neck. He smells her skin and nicks her with his teeth while kissing her. Ashley closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in enjoyment. Shepard sinks into her and then rolls over so that Ashley is now at his side on the bed.]

Ashley: How do you do it Shepard? How do you stay so strong? [Puts her ear to his chest to listen to his heart again, it’s slow steady beating] You’re like a pillar of strength, carrying the entire galaxy’s weight. People argue and fight, while you’re stuck doing everything on your own in order to unite them.

Shepard: I honestly can’t say that I don’t feel tasked. But I just look forward and believe, and do what I’m supposed to do. My whole life, I’ve felt like I never had time to think too deeply about anything. Ever since Akuze, it’s been…it’s been like a rush. I sound like a Salarian, maybe, but that’s not to say that things never came back to mind after some time. Hard choices that I’ve had to make always come back to me; people I didn’t have the chance to save; things I couldn’t stop from happening. I try to do everything asked of me. I hurried to get here and get there. Get this done. Speak to this person. There was never really a down time…well, other than when I died, but I guess that doesn’t count. Life never seems to move slowly anymore and the more I do in order to try to catch up to it, the faster time flies.

Ashley: Don’t you ever think that maybe…we’ll run out of time?

Shepard: As much as it’s a possibility, I can’t think that. I want to believe that there’s a way to get rid of the reapers and just continue our lives. [Looks at his fish tank from the bed] It’s an injustice to think that we’ve come so far as a galaxy just to have it turned all upside down. I know it’s safe to believe that there’s a future worth fighting for and that even now, there is still hope left for the soldiers.

Ashley: How do you know this for sure skipper?

Shepard: I’m a soldier, just like everyone else. And you came back into my life. [Looks at her] When they had me grounded on earth, with Reapers coming down on our asses, you came back to me. Through the bleakest of moments, just like Eden Prime, there was something hopeful that came out of it. I can’t say how much I missed you since Horizon. And when I saw you in the Alliance HQ, I felt like a little kid in an ice cream store.

Ashley: You surely didn’t seem that way.

Shepard: I know. I was having…words…with Anderson concerning the Alliance brass. But I couldn’t help fighting that childish stubborn little sense of excitement when I saw you. I guess it’s that same childish part of me that continues to hope, against all hope, that someday everything will be okay; that we’ll be okay some day.

Ashley: I love you Shepard. I don’t think I’d want to be with anyone else throughout this other than you. [Looks closely into his face] When I look at you, I see a man. But when I hear you speak and talk about the things you’ve done, the trials you’ve faced, the tales you’ve lived to tell, I hear a legend’s voice. Sometimes I think why we were the ones who had to face this. But now I can believe in your childish stubborn hope, that the answer to that is irrelevant and that what matters is that we see it through to the end.

Shepard: Together.

Ashley: Together.

[Proceeds to make love]

[Afterward they are both on the bed, undressed, under covers, hugging each other.]

Ashley: Skipper?

Shepard: Yea Ash?

Ashley: …Yes.

Shepard: Yes what?

Ashley: You know. That one word you wanted me to say…that I was thinking about all this time. Yes.

Shepard: You’re my one and only Ash. Even now, while facing the ultimate evil, you’ve managed to make me the happiest man in the world. That is why I love you. [Hugs her and kisses her. He then pulls a drawer from the bedside chest and pulls out two dog tags on a chain.] I don’t have a ring right now…Sorry…

Ashley: [Smiles]

Shepard: But these are my old dog tags that they recovered from the Normandy SR-1.

Ashley: I’ll gladly wear it skipper. [Sits up and let’s Shepard put it around her neck. The dog tags drop across her chest, the lower one reaching her breasts.]…Thank you Shepard. For everything. If I never met you I may not have been here today. I may not have lived to see myself get engaged. Every girl’s dream was to get hitched to a war hero. I got lucky though.

Shepard: How so? [kisses her neck]

Ashley: I’m getting hitched to the galaxy’s hero.

Shepard: Well, now, I’m just a soldier Ash. A very lucky soldier. [Touches her hair and face]

Ashley: No. If there ever was someone so deserving of that title, it’s you. Don’t worry sir. I have your back on it. I’ll always have faith in you. Always.

Shepard: I know you will Ash. I never imagined this is how I’d pop the question. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. I want you so badly. [Shepard makes a fist with his right hand and Ashley’s left hand]

Ashley: You have all of me. Everything. For the rest of our lives. I’m with you until the very end Shepard. You’ve seen me at my weakest, most hopeless times, but you’ve stood by me and held out your hands to make sure I get through and get back up on my feet. You’re the man who is out to save the lives of trillions. This time, I’ll be the one for you to fall back on. I’ll be there to catch you skipper. I want to be there for you whenever you need me. I want to be the one who reaches out to save you. O Captain. My Captain.


End file.
